GOLFCAT
CASOON
Golf Cat, a golf ball with a cat's head and two small feet, standing on a fairway next to a driver

Local Rule 18.9

Golf Cat

He is not your ball. He has feet.

Known Hazards

Bright, windless, personally offensive. Golf Cat occupies the shortest grass and refuses relief. Witnesses report no rolling, no bouncing, and one prolonged stare at a seven iron. Play continues only after he approves the replacement.

  • TickerGOLFCAT
  • BuildCat above, golf ball below.
  • Current LieMiddle of the fairway.
  • Primary ThreatAny club with loft.
  • RulingPut the club away.

The Lie

Before the sprinklers start, Golf Cat walks to the first fairway and plants both feet. Groundskeepers nod. Caddies check the wind. Players mistake his silence for permission. He does not roll, bounce, or improve anyone’s score. He waits beside the tee marker until the foursome remembers that every ball-shaped object is not communal property.

Golf Cat standing on two small feet

Please choose another ball.